It seems that every time I set out to write on here I just get frustrated. There are so many different things that I long to say but the words just never come out right.
So tonight I want to set out to do something different. I'm not going to deal with a passage of scripture. I just want to share my heart. I hope that you will read this and find some encouragement.
If you don't know by now, I am planting a church in Miamisburg, OH. It is called LifePoint Community Church and it is amazing to see what God is doing. But life as a church planter can be frustrating yet very rewarding. I get frustrated because everyday I am faced with my inadequacies to preform the tasks necessary to start a new church. At the same time I am rewarded in seeing God work in ways that are far beyond my understanding to fulfill His purpose in me.
I am excited about this year. 2013 will be a big year for LifePoint and for my family. I have set out a challenge that we live this year as if it is the last year Christ gives, then I asked the staggering question, "what will that look like if we live it out?"
As I think about this question, I have to ask God to show me what needs to change but not just on the surface. Sure, I could put on a show and saw look at all the things I am doing but that would miss the point. Do I want Jesus to return and find me putting on a show? Do I want Him to see me going through all the motions that people define as my role as a pastor? or Do I want to be transformed as I surrender areas of my life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ?
Please Lord let me surrender to you!
I don't want it to be about me at all. I need Jesus to take charge. I have a lot of things in me that I don't want in me. Why do I get so easily angered over little things? Why do I beat myself up every time I make a mistake? Why do I shut down mentally and emotionally when my wife needs me to talk? Why do I feel so alone sometimes?
The answer is simple. I get distracted. Rather than focusing on Christ I start focusing on self, circumstances, or others. I try to take control rather that pick up my cross and die so that Christ might live in me.
This year for me is about learning to surrender more than ever before. It is about learning to trust God with the big picture and the details. It is about learning to see myself and others through the eyes of the Gospel. It is about being faithful with what God has given me and praising Him in all circumstances.
What will this year be for you?
I pray that God will help you see what you could be if you gave Him the control.
